Unhealthy 2014

Don’t fool yourself. We both know that regardless of our New Year resolutions, we will keep eating junk food. We are lazy. We hate changes. We can’t resist temptations. Any attempts to cook healthy meals will backfire.   

Sure, there are thousands of recipes online. Sure, there are tons of cookbooks. But if you’re not Jamie Oliver yourself, there is no way you can make use of them, because:

  1. You have no idea how much is 150ml and you wonder why they don’t measure liquids by some commonly and globally understandable standards. Everybody knows the volume of a beer glass.
  1. If you decide to watch a cooking video for a better visualization of the creation process, it seems that all ingredients miraculously appear cleaned and chopped in little glass bowls on a table. You have no clue how to get from “a fish” to a “fantastic pieces of fresh mackerel, already butterflied, filleted, and without intestines, brain, spine, and skin, kept overnight in a basic French marinade. Beautiful.”
  1. What on earth is a Jerusalem artichoke and where do they sell it???
  1. You don’t know which cooking guru to trust, because they all differ greatly in their opinions. There are even TV shows in which one professional cook screams and shouts at another professional cook, with their anger boiled up to a point that they start hitting each other with a cookbook- one of the billion available on the market. It’s all very confusing.
  1. You read somewhere that you need at least three home cooked meals a day. So just after you finish cleaning the massive blender from the leftovers of the morning smoothie, you’ll have to start folding cream cheese and avocado wraps for your healthy lunch. Don’t forget to already start cooking broccoli soup for dinner. You also need to chop the wok veggies (frozen ones are unhealthy), mix the salad dressing (bottled dressing? Bleh!), and collect fresh tomatoes from your mini tomato garden on your balcony… Congratulations. You’ve just spent a whole day in a kitchen and you are now officially a housewife.

You can just as well order a pizza now.